Oh boy, how do I start this? You know what really grinds my gears? Wait, I can’t use that; that’d be copyright infringement from Family Guy.

Anyway, I have a lot of dislikes, but I’ve narrowed it down.

No, it’s not people chewing like a cow.

No, it’s not theft I mean taxes.

And no, it’s not people who lie as easily as they breathe.

What I actually, truly hate….. is working in retail.

If Dante had one more ring of hell, retail work would be it. In fact, there’s probably a department store down there called “Hell R’ Us.”

So let’s get a little serious. 

You’re probably thinking I’m overreacting or being childish. But the way customers talk to retail employees is absolutely outlandish. They act like Twitter posters tying and saying heinous things and the worst part is, I can’t block them in real life.

I have to tank their damage like a character in Overwatch and spam “sorry” like a citizen of Canada.

And the craziest part? They actually believe they’re entitled to say whatever they want because “The Customer is Always Right”

Cue the sad trumpet sound guess what? That’s wrong.

That saying came from back in the “kiss the customer’s ass” era. It didn’t mean the customer’s behavior was right it meant that when a customer bought an ugly item, they were “right” because they chose it. Somewhere along the line, like a bad game of telephone, that turned into “whoever yells the loudest wins.”

WRONG.

I especially love when customers think they know how to do my job.

Customer shuffles over to me:

“Do you have this item?”

Like Billy the Kid, I quick draw my answer:

“No, sorry, we’re all out but we can order it for you.”

Customer, processing quantum physics:

“Can you check the back?”

That phrase pisses me off more than anything. At my current job, I do the inventory for the entire store. I know the location of every item like SEAL Team Six tracking down Osama Bin Laden. 

But because they think they’re entitled, they believe they can force me to “check the back,” like something’s magically going to appear like water in a desert.

When I’m especially annoyed, I usually say:

“I can get you an application so you can check the back yourself”

They don’t like that response. 

Okay, enough about the customers I could give you more examples, but we’d be here until the Book of Revelation starts.

Let’s move on to the modern reality of retail work.

Back in 2006, it was simple:

Help the customer, get the item, ring it up, and wish them a good day.

Now? Because minimum wage went up a dollar or two, corporations think they can shove a square peg into a round hole and dump a pile of new responsibilities on us.

And in the same breath, they cut payroll. Then they tell the skeleton crew, 

“Get these tasks done and keep sales up or get written up.”

Working in retail is constant low morale. Burnout culture is real.

Employers care about as much as a cat minding its own business.

Im probably over my limit I could write a thousand pages on this topic but I’ll leave you with this advice:

Tell your local retail worker that you appreciate them. Treat them like a human being. They’ll go the extra mile for you trust me.